How Can We Help Our Parents Age In Place?

While there is not a quick fix to helping our parents stay home, there is an arsenal of resources at our disposal. To help our parents maintain independence we can incorporate: Cameras, Smartphones, Door Alarms, Smart Watches, Neighbors, Care Providers, Pharmacy delivery services, grocery delivery services, Home Health Services, Alexa(or equivalent) device, and In home safety devices. Having family close is always helpful but in today’s world there are times when it isn’t possible.

About 7 years ago my husband and I started noticing subtle health changes in his parents. At first, there was not a lot for us to do except make the 3 hour one way trip to visit more frequently. This we did regularly and always enjoyed a good visit. We encouraged his mom and dad to make a list of things we could help them with when we came up. Initially, they didn’t want to impose and would get a handyman or someone they knew to come help. We reassured them that we didn’t mind working on something when we visited. I think establishing this early on helped in having them feel less like a burden. The gradual changes helped increased time spent was just a new normal. Fortunately Ron’s sister and niece lived close by and spent a lot of time with his parents. For this we are forever grateful.

These are some wonderful technologies that we were able to use that improved our whole families quality of life

• A Smart Phone – These have location apps to monitor movement as well as a means to contact your family member.
• Cameras – These can be placed in areas that are not invasive but where you can have reassurance that all is well.
• Alarms for doors – to prevent someone from leaving without being noticed.
• Grocery and Pharmacy delivery services – Pretty self explanatory
• Home care service – either personal hires or home health services.
• Safety devices installed – Toilet rails and elevated seats, Shower seats
• Alexa(or equivalent) device – for music therapy and voice contact.

Smart phones

We started introducing technology to both our parents as it came on the scene. Our first purchase was in the year before the cascade of medical issues and this was an iPhone for Ron’s mom. There are lots of location apps(the one we use is Life 360). This allowed us from 3 hours away to see where they were. It also allowed them to see where we were and gave a sense of connected-ness. Ron’s Mom was still driving at this time and they went to eat something most days. These were short trips but with neither of us there it made us feel better to know we would be alerted in the event of a crash. For several months this and weekend trips were adequate to help to maintain their independence.

Smart watches

We never got a smart watch for either of Ron’s parents because Ron’s dad was developing late stage dementia and we did not feel he would keep it on. I mention smart watches because increasingly they are able to monitor health concerns such as heart arrhythmia and soon blood sugar. They also usually have GPS which allows for finding someone with poor memory who may be lost. The watch has the added bonus of orienting someone to time. The watch that I use also has fall detection and emergency call to ICE(In Case Of Emergency) contact numbers or 911. These watches also allow for independent voice calling even when not linked to a phone. Aside from all the features they have they are fairly discreet and fit on your wrist.

Cameras

Initially we installed a camera in Ron’s parents living room to allow us to see that they were up and about in the house and doing okay. We bought camera’s that plugged into the wall and connected to WiFi. This allowed for ease of moving them around. Because we were splitting duties between taking care of our parents and taking care of our boys we also added cameras to our house to make sure when we were not home all was well there too. It helped as well when we had someone else helping Ron’s parents we could remotely supervise the care they were receiving.

Ron’s mom’s physical health was deteriorating and his dad’s mental health was failing. His mom managed for quite some time to make things work but as she got sicker and his dad was more demanding it was clear that we needed to set up a better safety net. Ron’s mom was still driving some but finding that increasingly difficult. Ron’s sister stayed with them most of the time but worked and with them living on a remote 5 acres we needed a better means of making sure we knew when something wasn’t right. Ron ordered some cameras from Amazon(these are on our favorite products page). They were great! We connected our phones to the cameras at their house while we were there and once the IP address was on the App in our phone we could monitor the camera’s from anywhere. We could listen and talk through the cameras as needed but mostly we reserved this function for emergencies. It was such a relief. We placed these in areas of the house that would not invade privacy but allowed us to see that they were doing okay. The great thing was that they were infrared so we could see in the dark and you could move the cameras in the room to pan, zoom, and talk or listen. When Ron’s sister was working or needed to leave and check on her family, he could help keep watch and alleviate some of her stress.

Alarm for the doors

At one point in time Ron’s dad would daily walk to their mailbox. After several falls and memory loss that took all comprehension of where he was and who we were, we had to closely monitor the doors to keep him safe. Monitored systems(which they didn’t have) can be set to chime when the door opens. What Ron found was a sensor door bell that you could plug into the wall and place the sensor near the door and it would alert when someone went close to the door. It was at Walmart for less than $10.

Maintaining independence by ordering online

Having a smart phone or knowing how to work a computer made it easier when we were helping them with ordering things online and having things delivered. It is easy to order for them remotely if this is needed but being able to “get your groceries yourself”, even if someone else brought them to your house still gives a sense of self care. Resourcing things that are used by others helps to maintain a sense of independence. Beside grocery services, Pharmacy services can be invaluable. By the time we needed these services, Hospice was involved but through this we found that many pharmacies deliver. When Ron’s parents were this sick we didn’t want or need to leave to go pick up medication.

Caregivers for Hire

There are a multitude of Apps and lists of persons looking to take care of others. Many are fortunate enough to have insurance to help with this others are not. Most of the Apps that allow for negotiation for services between parties have safe guards for payments to ensure that each party is satisfied with the arrangement. For many older parents having someone they are not familiar with in their home is the ultimate invasion for their space. Make certain you know your parents feelings regarding this.

Safety devices

We installed toilet seats with handles to the sides to assist with standing and we put reach bars and shower bars in the bathrooms. We also strategically placed chairs around the house so if fatigue set in before they got to their intended location they could sit, not fall. We had walkers, canes, and rollators(walker with wheels on the front and an attached seat. Seat pads(cushions and protective coverings) to prevent skin breakdown and protect furniture. Other useful devices we used were BP machine, Pulse oximeter, and thermometer.

Alexa

This may seem like–Really?, but in my opinion this is a pretty inexpensive monitoring system and it offers so much more. You can talk to Alexa, play games with Alexa, have Alexa play music for you(even the Oldies) have Alexa call someone for you, including 911. For the $25 to $100 dollars that these devices cost they offer a lot.

The Best of Technology

Technology at its best is when it can provide for you the ability to enrich your life. WiFi can be expensive, devices can be expensive, as can be hiring a caregiver or moving your parents to assisted living. There is no shame in doing any of these things. There is not one that is better than the other. We all like our own spot in this world. If your parents are not seemingly ready to give up there spot and need some assistance to be able to stay there I am hopeful that I have provided some insight into some options of things that can be done.